Did you know that you can actually have disagreements and discomfort with your friends and actually sort through it, remain connected, and move on?? I know it sounds ridiculously simple, but you probably all know that it is NOT. I think most of us were not raised to be able to sit down with a friend, co-worker, partner, child, employee, employer, whatever and kind of sift through all the feelings and come to the conclusion of , "Wow, I think what we got here is just a big old difference of opinions, nobody's right, nobody's wrong, let's work on our judgementalness together, OK? How funny that we both got so triggered! I just love being close with you, hooray!"
My women's group just finished our third tele-conference with the amazing Amy last night. We had started out with just one, wanting to kind of dust out all the cobwebby corners of our relationships and start fresh. We just kept coming back for more, and more, as we all got a little more honest and brave and realizing that there WERE lingering resentments and unsaid judgements that were really holding us back and were NOT dissipating no matter how much we wished them away.
Before each truth-telling session, as they were called, I was SO dragging my feet... would have rather done anything else in the entire world, practically, but after each I was singing in my heart and feeling a huge rush of energy. Resentments and judgements really sit in your body even if you're not aware of them most of the time and hog a whole bunch of your chi.
Amy does such an amazing job of being calm, funny, down to earth, and practical... She does such a fantastic job of making nobody wrong, and just breaking it down clear and simple to where, when it's all laid out in front of you, you wonder what the heck we were all so afraid of: "So, what you're saying, is that you really prefer doing things like this, and so-and-so really likes it when people do this, so, no wonder you were both having trouble..."
I've never done anything like this before... when I encountered trouble with friends in the past after being close for a few years, the relationship would either end or be drastically re-structured. I'm so excited to be learning how to move down through these deep limiting layers and learn how to be even closer and sustain these friendships with the women that I love so much!
AND my big intention is also that my children, OUR children, will get to grow up knowing that feelings are mentionable AND managable, and know that it's no problem whatsoever getting close and staying close to the people that they care about.